call me. >> chloe, hi. dr. evans needs you to assist him in room 301. >> right away. >> thank you. >> hmm. sasha, chloe is gonna need saturday night off. >> don't you think that's a little inappropriate? >> what, having a conversation with a co-worker? >> troy, you know what i'm talking about, okay? stop being cute. >> you think i'm cute, huh? >> what i know is that hospital policy is very clear when it comes to doctors fraternizing with nurses. >> i'll be sure to remind will. >> you see, that's different. will and i are married. >> well, so is chloe, just not to me. ha ha ha! >> you are pathetic. >> oh, don't be like that. >> [scoffs] >> troy, i've been looking for you. >> what's up? >> well, i heard something, and i don't like it. >> what things? >> what'd you hear? >> you know what. i heard you were a mets fan!

come on, man! >> guilty. ha ha! >> well, look, i got two tickets to the braves game on saturday. a patient gave them to me. we should go. you want to go? >> aw, i'd love to, but i got a big date that night. >> aw, man. heh. no surprise, but, hey, anyone i know? >> you may have seen her around, but i don't kiss and tell. you know what i mean? >> okay, player! ha ha ha ha! hey, man, you can get any woman you want, man, but, hey, not my sasha. >> hmm. >> you know what i mean? ha ha ha! >> [chuckles] >> oh! snake eyes on your monkey. that's what i'm talking about. that's what i'm talking about right there. i'm competitive, and whatever i play, i give all my heart. >> you landed on my property, so you owe me $1,000. >> pay up, mr. brown. >> cora, i need a loan. i'm a little short. >> well, how much?

>> $1,000. you heard him. >> oh, no. no. unh-unh. >> well, if you can't pay me, then you're going to jail, and i'm gonna win. >> now, you going to bed, and ain't nobody going to win. good night. have a good night. >> oh, mr. brown, don't do that. you're a sore loser. >> cora, your behind gonna be sore. you don't talk to your grown folks like that. you don't talk to me like that. i know what i'm doing. the game was called off due to a technicality, and i commission it a draw. it's a draw. >> it is not a draw. >> yes, it is. >> it is not. >> it is. >> is not. >> cora, keep on arguing with me if you want to. >> joaquin, it's time for bed, and i'll come up and check on you in a minute. >> you played a good game. >> you're a bad babysitter. >> what? now, you want your behind whupped. i ain't nobody-- no bad baby-- i'm a good babysitter. i'm the best there ever was and there ever will be. if there was a babysitter hall of fame, i would've been conducted years ago. can't nothing get by me without me seeing it. that's how good of a babysitter i am. i know everything about

babysitting. do you know i wrote a babysitting handbook? it's called "the babysitting handbook of america." i--i-- can't nothing get past me. you know what? let me go up and check on brianna... >> no. no. she's--she's-- you know, i like your shirt. >> you do? >> yeah, your pants, too. >> shut up. these ain't even my good pants. >> i think you dress really cool. >> you--now, you--what? you know, all these years, i've been dressing like this, and ain't nobody, not once, complimented me on how i dress. but i know the lord sent you. he had to send you. out of the mouths of babes shall it proceed out of your mouth. ooh, i thank you. you got a vision. you got a eye for style. you anointed just for fashion. >> [yawns] you guys, i can't sleep with all this noise. >> oh, don't worry. joaquin was just talking about my clothes. >> joaquin, you know it's not nice to insult your elders. >> no. he wasn't consulting me. he was telling me how much he liked them. you know what? you like this, joaquin, my shirt and the pants?

i got something just for you up here, joaq-- oh, you gonna like this. i'm gonna hook you up. >> ha ha! that was so close. thank you so much. i owe you. >> yeah, you do. come on. i take cash only. >> ha! what are you talking about? >> i'm tired of covering for you for free. come on. okay. what's this? >> it's $2.00. >> that may have bought me a coloring book, but i play video games now. >> joaquin, i don't have any money. >> then you can work for me. >> ha ha! me? working for you? i don't think so. >> oh, okay. oh, mr. brown! you know, brianna-- >> hey! okay. okay. okay. what do you want me to do? >> well, my bed needs to be made. the trash has to go out, and,

hmm. hmm, my fish tank is not gonna clean itself, is it? >> joaquin, that's mine. >> it's good to be king. >> oh! >> renee? >> mm-hmm? >> do you think it's appropriate to be putting on makeup in front of patients? >> oh, you're right, you're right. y'all turn around, both of you. yeah, cool. thanks. >> all right, where are you going? >> girl, to the sexual harassment seminar. i've been waiting all week for this. the instructor is hot. giving it to him. >> sorry i'm late. dr. crane was showing me a new procedure. >> oh, girl, that ain't a-- so, i see you're not into cute girls. >> so, are we on?

don't make me beg. >> okay, just one drink. >> perfect. you won't regret it. >> so, chloe, how's that great husband of yours, huh? he is so, so nice. you guys make a great couple. ha ha ha! >> he's fine. >> he's good? >> yes. >> i'll see you saturday. >> i work saturday. >> can you excuse us for a minute? >> sure. >> thought i asked you to give her the day off. >> hmm. well, i set the schedule based on the needs of the hospital, not yours. now, if you'll excuse me, i am busy. >> you're not too busy to throw salt in my game. >> hey, you know what, troy? what is it with you and married women, hmm? there's plenty of single women around here. >> married women are easier. there's no chance of commitment, and they're better at staying in their lane, at least some of them. >> the schedule is not gonna change. >> let me tell you how this works. >> get your hands off me.

>> i am your superior, so when i ask you to do something, you do it. >> are you threatening me? >> no, i'm telling you. unless you want things to get uncomfortable between us. >> i'm not gonna live like this. >> what are you gonna do? >> i'm gonna do something i should've done a long time ago. i'm telling will. >> yeah, right. you would tell will what happened and risk everything? >> you know what? i'm risking more by not saying anything. >> how are my two favorite people? >> we're good, man. >> no, we're not. will, i need to tell you something. you think washing your face is healthy. but if your skin feels tight and dry it could be a sign of damage. [ female announcer ] get a healthier clean with neutrogena® ultra gentle cleanser. unlike ordinary cleansers that can over-penetrate and damage skin's healthy barrier our breakthrough formula cleans gently without the damage, yet removes dirt, oil, even eye makeup. so clean really is healthy. [ female announcer ] ultra gentle cleanser.

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>> what? what's going on? >> maybe i need to let you guys talk. >> whoa, whoa, whoa. hold on. huh. what do we need to talk about? >> okay, will, this is hard to say. >> look, i really need to go. >> you know what? stop. we need to talk about something, so let's talk about it. let's hear it. i'm listening. >> okay, well, you remember the time when we weren't getting along? well, troy and i went out, and-- >> you--whoa, you went out? >> it was just coffee. >> look, i was upset, and-- and-- >> and? >> she kissed me. >> what?! >> look, i'm sorry you had to find out about it like this. >> will, he's lying, okay? he kissed me. >> whoa. you two kissed? >> i'm sorry. i wanted to tell you, man. >> no, you didn't. you've been holding this over my head.

>> holding this over-- how long has this been going on? >> okay, will, it only happened once. the only reason why i didn't tell you was because he said that if i didn't say anything, he would help you get your job back. >> oh. i don't believe this. >> i didn't believe it, either. >> dude, shut up. >> will, stop. will, stop, okay? baby, think about your job. >> yeah, will. think about your job. >> i don't care about this damn job! >> will, think about the kids, okay? he's not worth it. >> okay. all right, will. you did the right thing. >> no, the right thing would've been to put his head right through that wall. >> look, will, i am so sorry. >> so am i. >> okay. baby, listen. we can talk about this, okay? will-- >> get off of me.

>> joaquin? joaquin, i made your lunch! >> just leave it there and go as far away as possible. >> hah! well, i made it just how you wanted--fried peanut butter and jelly with bananas in chocolate syrup and ketchup on the side. joaquin! >> coming. >> ha ha! oh, you look like you fell in a barrel of crayons. >> it's not funny. >> yes, it is. ha! why are you looking like mr. brown? >> because when i was trying to cover for you, i told mr. brown i liked his clothes. >> and he believed you? >> yeah. he pulled his old clothes out of the trunk and made me wear them. >> [sniffs] yeah. you smell like old people. >> oh, lord, look at you!

>> why, look at you, looking like you're looking! oh, ooh, that's so good! ooh, the fit and everything! >> ha ha ha! >> that's good. i like that. you-- ooh, i'm proud of you. >> he looks ridiculous. >> look like somebody put mr. brown in the dryer, and bleached him. ha ha ha! >> ha ha ha! >> stop laughing, brianna. it's not funny, miss cora. >> oh, i'm sorry. >> wait. hold on. this is gonna be classic. let me-- >> no! no! don't take my picture! >> say "cheese." >> no! no! someone call child support! >> wait, wait! take my picture. miss edna is not gonna believe this. >> okay. ha ha ha! >> suspenders and everything. >> you know what, joaquom? you got to get used to this kind of stuff. when you dressing like that, people will walk up to you and say, "i want to take your picture." but what you got to learn how to do is, you got to learn how to just walk and pose for them. just walk and pose for them like that. that's what you got to learn how to do. you're young. you'll learn. >> i can't wait to send this to

all your friends--i mean, both of them. >> hee hee hee. come here. okay. you see that picture there? >> yeah. it's cute, isn't it? >> you know, if that picture right there gets out, then something might get out about you, and i don't want that to happen, you know? >> oh, no. i dare you. go ahead. >> fine. we're even. >> joaquom, come here. come here. take a picture of both of us together. this got to be going on the posterization. >> ha ha ha! >> say "colors." >> ha ha ha! rainbow. ha ha! >> oh, god, will, there you are. baby, i looked for you all over the hospital. now i know why i couldn't find you. did you hear that troy requested a transfer? apparently, he has done this to other nurses.

okay, will, are you even gonna talk to me? >> what else is there to say, sasha? >> will, i know that you're upset. >> no, i'm not upset. i'm pissed. >> i know. okay, i know that i messed up. >> yeah, you did. you lied to me. >> will, i never lied, okay? i didn't say anything because i was trying to protect you. >> you were protecting yourself. >> no, will. that's not what i-- >> you let me invite this man into our home thinking he was my friend, and you said nothing. >> will, i didn't say anything because he's your boss! >> i'm your husband. >> will, i didn't know what to do! okay, i just wanted this whole thing to go away. >> sasha, you made a fool out of me. do you get that? i mean, who else knows about this? >> will, no one knows, because there is nothing to know.

look, you and i were having problems, okay? i was upset. you went out with your ex-fiancee, and-- >> are you trying to flip this around on me? >> i'm not flipping it-- >> really? seriously. >> i'm trying to make you understand. >> understand what? that while i'm going through the toughest time in my life, you were out there kissing another man? >> i did not kiss him. he kissed me, will. there is a difference. >> not to me. >> will, what can i do to make this right? oh, will--okay, wait. where are you going? okay, what are you doing with a suitcase? where are you going? i'm not going anywhere.

you are. >> um, sasha, will said you wanted to see us. >> yeah, i need to talk to you guys. >> uh, look, i know i came in late, but joaquin has been blackmailing me, and i just can't take it anymore. >> well, she's got these pictures of me wearing these ugly clothes. >> what are you guys talking about? >> nothing. >> nothing. >> all right, guys, why don't you have a seat? >> are you going somewhere, sasha? >> well, that's why i need to talk to you, okay? um, i'm gonna be moving out for a while. >> why? >> here we go again. >> is it our fault?

>> no. no, baby. this has nothing to do with you, okay? >> okay. >> look, will and i had an argument, and we've decided that it's best for me to leave. >> well, since you're the one leaving, you must be the one that messed up. >> yes, i did. >> but you'll be back soon, right? >> i will be back as soon as i can. >> that's what our mama said before she went to jail, and she didn't come back for two years. >> brianna, i promise i won't be gone that long. >> yeah? well, how long will you be gone? >> i don't know. i don't know. i'm gonna be at my parents' house, and i'm gonna make sure that i call you guys every day. >> i don't want you to go. >> i know, joaquin. i know. baby, i know. okay? but will is going to take really good care of you, okay? >> okay. >> brianna, i need you to watch out for your little brother,

okay? >> i always have. sasha, every time we get it together, things fall apart. i'm sick of this! >> brianna, i know. okay? i am so sorry. guys, i can't say anything more. okay? i just--i have to go. >> sasha... >> i love you guys so much. oh, god. [ male announcer ] now you can get a kindle fire hd,

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>> how you feeling, little man? >> not so good. do i have to wear this outfit again? the polyester is killing me. >> oh. well, you'll be all right. you'll get used to the itching. you just scratch it, and you get a little rash, and you'll get a callus over it. you won't even have to worry about it no more. you know what? when i'm feeling bad--come here--and i'm looking good, i'm gonna show you what i do. see, you got to learn how to walk as you're walking and pose like that, okay? you got it? you come behind me. when i do it, you walk and pose.

ready? we're gonna walk...and pose, just like that. one more time. walk and pose, just like that. [ horn honks ]

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>> no, actually, i had an aunt who died from breast cancer when i was younger. and since it's hereditary, they recommend getting tested sooner. >> hey! how was your mammogram? >> a little uncomfortable. >> i know, but it only took a matter of minutes, though, right? >> the mammogram wasn't the problem. >> okay, then, what's wrong? >> i'm pregnant. you think washing your face is healthy. but if your skin feels tight and dry it could be a sign of damage. [ female announcer ] get a healthier clean with neutrogena® ultra gentle cleanser. unlike ordinary cleansers that can over-penetrate and damage skin's healthy barrier our breakthrough formula cleans gently without the damage, yet removes dirt, oil, even eye makeup. so clean really is healthy. [ female announcer ] ultra gentle cleanser. neutrogena®. #1 dermatologist recommended skincare. neutrogena®. over 20 million drivers are insured with geico.

so get a free rate quote today. i love it! how much do you love it? animation is hot...and i think it makes geico's 20 million drivers message very compelling, very compelling. this is some really strong stuff! so you turned me into a cartoon...lovely. geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. >> okay, now, so... tell me again. >> i'm pregnant. >> that's what i thought. i need to stand up. you sit down. so, janine, you're having sex with brian? >> yes. >> i don't get it with you young people. what's wrong with waiting? curtis and i waited, and as a result, our love is strong, and

we communicate very well. >> okay, but have you communicated any of this to calvin? >> hm. calvin doesn't listen either. janine... okay, are you gonna tell c.j. and the kids when they get back tomorrow? >> yes. no. maybe. look, i don't know. okay, i don't know. just-- just don't say anything to anyone because i just need time to figure this out. >> hey. hey, baby, look at this. look, you didn't tell me you found these old pictures. you didn't tell me you found these. >> not now, baby. >> these old pictures. >> not now, baby. >> look, look. no, baby, look. this is me and ella on our first date. that's on our first date, baby. >> this is your first date? >> yeah. >> this looks a lot like a hotel room. >> it was. and i ta da da da! ha! ha! i ta da da da! [ chuckles ] she taught me all kinds of stuff that day. she was so easy. >> so, you waited in a hotel room...for uncle curtis.

>> please. >> calvin got back yet? >> no, curtis. okay, curtis, me and janine are talking, so could you just wait for calvin in the other room, please? >> in what other room? what you talking about? this is my house. i ain't going in no other room. i'm-a sit right here. >> babe, please! we're trying to talk. >> miss ella, it's okay. >> baby, go ahead and talk, then. ain't nobody stopping you from talking. we don't have secrets in this house. go ahead and talk. >> curtis payne! would you please leave the kitchen right now?! >> everybody who pay the mortgage in this house, raise your hand. >> okay. [ chuckles ] okay, everybody who will be sleeping on the couch tonight keep your hand up. >> excuse me, excuse me. >> why do you always do that? >> you know what? it's all right. we can talk later. we can talk -- we can talk later. >> yeah, you can talk later. talk at your house when you get one. >> why does it always have to come back to the house? >> because you always come back to my house. >> hello. hello! hello! hello! >> all: what?!

>> i'm graduating this saturday. graduating. >> curtis -- >> if i had a dime for every time that i heard that -- >> i want to address this right here first. >> excuse me! excuse me! >> all: what?! >> i'm serious. i'm graduating. >> and i'm a little, itsy-bitty, skinny white woman named gail. >> you know what? never mind. never mind. >> do you think he was serious? >> all: no. >> hey, calvin. why don't you let me hook your nails up so they can look as smooth as you. >> dana, don't try to run that game on me. i just came to get my hair cut for my graduation. yeah, that's right. calvin payne is graduating. ha ha! >> hit me again. >> yo, i'm serious. i'm really graduating. >> calvin, i thought you had to go to class to graduate. [ chuckles ] >> no, for real. i got my degree in economics. >> if you got your degree in

economics, i'm a skinny white woman named gail. >> all right, calvin, if it's true, i'm happy for you. you know your girl kiki got a degree in psychology. >> oh, really? >> yeah. >> well, what you doing working here, then? >> [ scoffs ] kiki is making dough. if you use your geisha degree, you might, too. delante, hook me up. >> so, calvin, now that you "graduating," what you gonna do? >> get a job. >> what, you gonna get your master's? >> you should travel. >> no, i think i'm-a just sleep in. >> there's my boy! ha! the smart boy! come here! come here, boy! >> hey, i'm just putting my degree to good use. >> okay, curtis. >> [ smooches ] >> babe. what did your boy finally end up majoring in? >> oh, baby, you know what he majored in.

come on -- tell your mama what you majored in. >> [ chuckles ] well, i'm graduating with a bachelor of science in economics. >> bachelors of science in economics. well, hold the hell up. you mean after 7 years of changing your major, you end up getting a degree in the one you started with? >> yes. economics. >> aw! okay, we have to have a graduation party. >> now -- now, hold up. slow up. it -- it's not that great. parties cost money. we ain't got none. >> curtis, it won't cost that much. we can have it here at the house. >> no, no, no, no, i want to have it in a club. that way, i can pull up in my hummer with the jacuzzi. [ chuckles ] me and pookie and peanut can do our thing with the honeys. >> with the honeys. >> with the honeys. >> ooh, and miranda. ooh, ooh. and miranda. >> oh, that's right. i keep forgetting i got a girlfriend now. >> [ laughs ] now that's funny! i do the same thing.

when i'm in the supermarket, and i see them fine little checkout girls, i be forgetting i got a wife. >> hello. >> and then there she is. ha! ha! i love you, baby. anyway, sit down. you know, i got to tell you this. i got to tell you this. >> what's that? >> you know, me and your mama was talking, and we really thought you was gonna end up being a roommate with malik in college. >> pops, that's -- that's not funny. >> that is not what we said. we said he was gonna change his tassel over with jazmine. >> that what you said! you put that on me! that's what you said. >> [ laughing ] >> i said -- i said he was gonna end up graduating with his own kid. [ both laugh ] he'd graduate with his own kid! cootchie coo! >> wait, wait, wait. i got a new one. he'll graduate with janine's baby. [ laughs ] >> we already said janine's babies.

>> right. oh! no, see, i was talking about if she was pregnant, if she got pregnant again. that's all. where did he go? where did cal-- calvin! he can't take a joke. so, did you tell brian? >> i don't know what to say. i mean, what -- "brian, brian, you've been a wonderful boyfriend, and i appreciate you being so understanding about me living with my ex-husband and our kids in his uncle's house and guess what? now i'm pregnant"? >> all right. all right, all right, all right. this is a bit much. well, janine, just... when the time comes, the words will come. okay? oh, come on, show me, show me. cap and gown, please. >> yeah, calvin, where is it? come on. >> where's pops? >> i don't know. he had a run to make. show me the cap and gown. he'll be back. >> well, mom, i was thinking. maybe dad's right. maybe i don't need a party.

i mean, it's just a big waste of time. i've been in college for 7 years. >> ha! oh, no, no, no, no, no. my baby will have a graduation par-tay. >> yes, this was a long seven years. we have to celebrate. >> no, really, really. i mean, me and pookie and peanut could just have a drink at the bar. it's -- it's not a big deal. throwing a party is a waste of money. i could think of a million things i could spend that money on. >> okay, calvin. what's really going on? >> well, it turns out that i'm four credits short of my major, and the class is only being taught in the fall. >> whoa. whoa, calvin. what are you saying? >> i think he said he's not graduating. >> yeah. what she said. >> calvin. [ female announcer ] shaving can irritate skin, causing dark marks to become visible. dove has the effective solution. dove® cleartone™ anti-perspirant with calendula and sunflower seed extracts.

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>> hey, hey. >> what's up, mr. p? >> hey, mr. payne. why don't you let me hook them nails up for you real quick? >> little girl, get off of me. i'm here on official business.

>> what's happening? >> what you doing here? didn't delante just get you yesterday? >> yeah, delante jacked the back of my head up yesterday. so you need to do it over. >> i got you as soon as i'm done with her, all right? >> yeah, go to kiki. her clippers are made for cutting wool. >> shut up. >> [ laughs ] >> hey, look. that ain't why i'm here. i'm here because as you all know, my son calvin is graduating college. i know, i was speechless, too. [ laughs ] so i want to get him something, but i don't know what to get him. so everybody, the guys at the firehouse, they wasn't no help. so, i'm thinking, has he been talking around here? anybody know anything that he been talking about lately? >> wait a minute. you're gonna get him a gift? are you saying that you believed him? [ laughter ] >> well, what's so funny? what's so funny? >> no offense, mr. payne, but we'll believe calvin is

graduating after we see him graduate. >> my son is graduating, bro. now, look. you know what i'm thinking? i'll get him a brand-new suit for his first job. >> oh, he don't need a suit for that. get him a trench coat and a squeegee. [ laughter ] hey, no, no, but for real. maybe i'll get him a laptop, something like that. y'all like that, right? >> or a lap dance. i mean, i know he ain't graduating, but i'll come to the celebration. ha! ha! >> i don't think he want to go to your kind of celebration, delante. excuse me. y'all are not serious, and i'm not dealing with any of it. i'm-a come back in an hour, kiki. you can take care of me then. >> gotcha. >> no help. oh, wait. hey, curtis, make sure you send me an invitation to the graduation party, all right? [ chuckles ] when he graduates in 5 years. [ laughter ] >> okay. hey, look here. i got something for you. i got something for you.

hold on, hold on. don't go nowhere, okay? >> okay. >> don't go nowhere. don't go nowhere. don't go nowhere. love you. >> i love you, too. >> that's our boy. be right back. >> hm. well, i take it you did not tell him anything. >> [ whining ] mom, i thought you loved me. >> i do [whimpers] love you. >> then why you making me tell him? you know he gonna kill me. >> he is not gonna kill you. he may bust you in your mouth, but he not gonna kill you. ooh. you may have to walk on crutches for a year... [ chuckles ] but he not gonna kill you...baby. he gonna kill you! >> okay, okay, i got it. >> [ humming taps ] >> okay, mom, i got it! >> got what, a job? you got a job already? come here. come here. have i told you lately that i love you? >> pops, i got to tell you

something. >> no, wait a minute. wait a minute. let me get this out first. i know i told you i wasn't gonna get you nothing, but i changed my mind. i got you something. >> you got me something? >> and it's amazing! >> you got me something? >> close your eyes. close your eyes. close both of them like this. all right, come on. it's okay. >> [ grunts ] >> close your eyes. keep 'em closed. keep 'em closed. keep 'em closed. okay. okay. ready? >> mm-hmm. >> open your eyes. ah, i can't look! i can't look! candy-apple red! leather seats! 295 horsepower! dual exhaust! convertible!

hello! sitting on 22s! [ humming ] [ laughs ] boy! it's used...but it's yours. it's yours. >> [ chuckles ] >> speechless, ain't ya? i was speechless, too. i-i'm speechless. i can't say nothing. oh. what'd you want to tell me? >> oh, nothing. >> oh! i-i'm-a call you back! i'm-a call you back! yo. pookie just told me calvin wasn't graduating. >> surprise. >> well, hopefully mr. payne doesn't spend a whole bunch of money on that gift he's trying to get him. >> oh, don't worry. curtis is so cheap that he thought a quarterback was a refund. [ laughter ] [ engine revving ]

>> what is that making all that noise? yo! calvin got a new whip, y'all! come look! [ revving continues ] >> oh, my god. >> is he sitting on 22s? >> curtis gonna shoot him with a .22 as soon as he finds out that boy ain't graduating. >> well, let's not jump to too many conclusions now. it might be just a rental. >> drop your shoulder. drop your shoulder. drop your shoulder. hello! >> [ spitting ] >> hello, everybody. ha! ha! oh, i'm sure everybody seen the car that i bought calvin. i was sad. you know, it's not every day that your son graduates from college. hello. >> [ chuckles ] or any day. >> it's a nice ride, calvin. you should drive it to your graduation. >> yeah. did you pass any of your college buddies on your way over here,

or did they get left behind? >> no, but i know somebody's behind i will kick if they don't shut up. >> you know what, calvin? i got these four customers that are short on their credits. you know anything about that? >> i'm sorry. i'm sorry. this ride is ridiculous. it's ridiculous. i-it's better than mine. it's got mikes on the rearview mirror. and you know you gonna put your tassel on the rearview mirror. >> well, i have a feeling them tassels gonna look a lot more like a pair of fuzzy dice. >> come on, floyd. come on. i want you to check it out. come on, check it out. wait till you see the rims. they almost as big as the ones on my fire truck, man. >> whoo! >> come on, floyd! come on! >> wow! boy, you going to die. >> yo, calvin, are you crazy? why didn't you tell your pops you wasn't graduating? >> did you see that ride? >> yeah, you right, you right, you right. you know how many honeys to the

gallon we can get in that thing? >> i got a girlfriend. >> okay, the only thing you need to be worried about is pulling your daddy's foot out of your butt when he finds out. >> yeah, kiki is right. you know you are wrong for this. >> okay, okay, i'm-a tell him. >> well, tell him soon, 'cause he gonna come in here and kill you, and i ain't cleaning that up. >> wrong. [ both laughing ] >> oh, my goodness. oh, my goodness. [ sighs ] hey... come on. let's go for a spin. let's go for a spin. come on. shotgun! >> [ chuckles ] he's talking about the shotgun in the car, man. >> oh, you -- >> yes. >> okay, y'all didn't see that. >> wow. >> you didn't see that. >> see, that's that new dumb. >> uh! >> who bought you the --

>> yep, that's what i said. >> okay, calvin, i... i thought when your father found out that you did not graduate, that he was just gonna knock you out, but -- >> but now... you're actually going to die. yep. >> [ shouts indistinctly ] ha! ha! what's up, baby? >> hi, babe. >> mwah! >> mwah. >> look at her. look at her. >> mmm. hm. tell him. tell him. tell him. move! oh! >> boy... if that car had a dress, i'd... ta da da da. da da da di da. >> well, look, pops, there was a mistake. i'm four credits short, and i'm

not able to graduate. >> curtis, honey? babe? >> uncle curtis? >> uh-oh. uh-oh! the last time this happened, he was stuck like that for a day and a half. >> day and a half? >> what are we gonna do? >> well, we -- we just have to wait and let him come out of it. curtis? >> okay, i'm gonna close the door. >> curtis, honey? babe! am i interrupting something?

another viva dare. our fans think there's a rule that a paper towel can't handle this. fans? now that's tough when wet.

[ peggy ] grab viva and break the rules on all your tough messes. this is what they do for fun. >> what happened? >> hey, babe, you all right? >> yeah, i'm -- i'm fine, baby. i just... i just -- i had... the craziest dream. >> what? >> you had a dream? >> yeah, i had a dream that calvin didn't graduate. >> oh. >> well, actually... actually, he didn't. see, what happened was -- >> would you, would you, would you, would you... >> that's the craziest thing i ever seen in my life. i can't even -- i mean, it's like, and then he still -- he snuck to the car, and he took off in the convertible. but he tried to, and when he started it, it blew up. just blam! it blew up. body parts flew everywhere, and he died. and -- and i was happy. >> okay, well...

>> oh, there you are. >> pops... [ chuckles ] pops, i got good news and bad news. >> okay. well, what's the bad news? >> well, the part about me not graduating is actually true. >> okay, what's the good news? >> i'm not dead. >> no, really, what's the good news? >> okay, look, pops, i'm graduating, just not on saturday. but i'll definitely have the credits i need by the end of the semester to graduate. and that will give us more time to plan the party. that way, we can invite more people. it's gonna give me more money. >> now i see how he got a b.s. degree. oh!

they just delivered the tv an hour ago, and, kelly, this thing is so gigantic, it's ridiculous. i mean, the instruction book is bigger than our old tv. [car door closes] oh. oh, let me go. doug's home. ok, bye. oh, yeah? well, for your information, these are official company issue!

doug. no, no, you shut up! doug! what? he's making fun of my shorts again. he's 5. be the bigger man. it's just frustrating, you know? he's so well-dressed, i can't come back at him with anything. hey, what are you doing home from work? well, my boss was trying a case in jersey, so i snuck out early. come on, come on! i have a huge surprise for you. you're pregnant? yes! no. thank god! would you stop? there's something in the basement for you. what? oh, something i arranged to have delivered today, 3 days early. wh--you're not-- you're not--you don't mean-- in the b-b-b-- that's correct. i love you.

and i know in time you'll learn to love me, too. oh, man, i gotta call the guys. i already did. on their way. you called 'em? yep. you are the best mail-order bride ever! ahh! so that's it, cutie, your cave is complete. yeah, i just love it down here, you know? it's like someone stuffed some shag carpet and a foosball table into my mother's womb. ow. man: doug! yo, doug, you got the tv? yeah, it's down here! i can't feel my legs. damn! that's a nice tv. captioning made possible by sony pictures television

she just glides. look at that, i'm on 2, i'm on 3, back to 2. then--bam--hello, 57! could we leave it on one channel, please?

look at this, picture-in-picture. oh, look at this, picture-in-picture... in-picture. i'm--i'm begging you, you're gonna trigger my epilepsy. all right, all right, i'll leave it on 2. i want to catch the news anyway. news? yeah, the news. clinton's in china negotiating a big trade thing. maybe you'll learn something. reporter: ...for the white house report both sides are satisfied that a successful agreement was achieved. the first lady accompanied the president... would you do hillary? she's the first lady. you gotta do it. i don't know. she's filling out that skirt a little bit too much for my taste. nah, see, i love a little jiggle-jiggle on a first lady. quite a think tank you two have going. carrie: doug, it's after 6:00! enough with the tv! all right, all right! hey, you guys, go on, you'd better get out of here. douglas, my man, you are whipped. yeah, man, you're whipped. what are you talking about? you still live with your mother.